You're not serious, right?!

It's funny to me.. the amount of "nerve" some people have. Hubby has told me on several occasions that his mother has asked us for money. Now, I'm sure that I don't need to explain to you before I continue that we don't have money for ourselves, ie 2nd job, etc. let alone money to give away ( I need not be fooled into thinking that we would get the money back)
A few days ago he told me she called him, and again it was mostly for money. She actually asked my hubby if he would call his dad and ask if she could borrow $5,000!?!?!? I nearly drowned in the water I was drinking at the time.
Okay reality check here!! You've been DIVORCED from the man for over 30 years! You cheated on him with his BEST FRIEND! He is retired! He has a wife and two sons from that marriage! .... what sort of rancid, mildew infested (if that's possible) pot are you smokin' ?? I mean, damn, I've thought up some hair brained crap before but that's NUTZ!

I am tired. I want to give up. Hubby's hours at work have cut back over 20 hours, needless to say the pay didn't stay the same. Bills are mounting. I've taken the 2nd job, but am only paid monthly - I know, I understand that it hasn't been a month yet but unless something changes with it... well let's just say it's not alot.. I mean sure it's only a few hours a day, I know I haven't been specific so here is a confession my 2nd job is a newspaper route(and I'll be the first one to tell you, I LOVE IT!), so I don't expect alot. But I'm trying to fill in the Grand Canyon here... UGH! weep.

I'm okay until I actually go to pay the bills... I just want to do something. He called someone that he'd talked to after his first wife took him to the cleaners. That guy wanted 6months worth of everything, (bills, bankstatements, you name it.) Yes we could have made different choices. But, We didn't, and now... well it's upsetting. I've never felt like this in my life.

Just thinking and crying.. thank you for listening.

Parent Teacher Conference

yesterday was our meeting with Punk's principal, assistant teacher and a couple other teachers. Punk came to ask us if he was supposed to be in there, we asked him to stay. During the course of the discussion several things happened...

• They offered to take him out of keyboarding class and put him in what I'm calling studyhall.
• They said that next year based on his disability we'll be able to get his books on CD. (which I thought was cool, it would've been a great help to me while I was in school)
• They've agreed to have him retested.
• Ex spoke highly of Hubby, calling him a great step parent. ...... .... ..... ...

Como say What?!

I received word today that I may have to go to another city to train on new systems for a week in June for 1st job. I'm not sure that I like the idea... I mean sure... a get-away would be nice. I could send Lulu to her grandparents. Punk would be nearly finished with this school year, I shutter to think of it. Hubby would have to work, so he wouldn't be able to come... But I would literally have to PAY someone to work 2nd job for me. **THIS ISN'T THE REASON I HAVE 2ND JOB** so, needless to say... I'm a little sketchy about it.
We have a meeting tomorrow at lunch with Punk's principal and assistant teacher. Punk made a confession to his dad over the weekend that he was being bullied by two boys, and has been all year. I know that Ex is coming down, I thought that Step was too but it didn't sound that way when I spoke with Ex today. Hubby won't be there, I'll just leave that alone.

So much going on...

Since I haven't been here in a couple of weeks... it's time for a catch up - please bare with me as I pull the cobwebs away from my blog. =)
In no particular order -
Second job - going well... going to bed between 7pm and 10pm (depending on just how well I can listen to myself say GO TO BED) up at 230AM (no, that's not a typo) Work for about 3 hours and then back home. Blog or facebook for a bit.. nap if needed and then to work for the daylight hours. I love my second job.. LuLu goes with me, during the week... She sleeps mostly occasionally waking up to ask me 3 year old questions... like "why is the moon so bright?" and my favorite so far "Do you want me to sing for you, Mommy?" I'm like 3AM and you're wanting to sing?? She gets through the first few bars of a Valentine's Day song that she made up and ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz Punk goes with me on his weekends here. He says he loves going with me and I really enjoy having him out there... we cut up and have a great time... On one of his first nights at work with me a Phil Collins song came on the radio... "In the night" well, we tried to Redneck it up. It was hilarious! "I can feel it coming, yea in the night... (that's with a long "I") OH LORD!! OH, LORD!!" yea... sounded like we hadn't seen a street light in several years.. good stuff!!!
Punk - well, I usually don't post alot about Punk.. and mostly well it's because I really don't want to put stuff on my blog that would reflect negatively on him. But there was a post recently that mentioned that I didn't say anything about him and the long and short of it was this "Anonymous" (whatever) person (yea, right) said it was hard to believe that I even had a son as much as I gush over my daughter!? Now, I'm not going to relive the image I had of beating the hell out of this particular person with my damn laptop... But first - IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY - DO NOT HIDE BEHIND "ANONYMOUS" YOU CHICKEN SHIT PIECE OF JUDGEMENTAL TRASH! Oh sorry was that in CAPS... (muttering>>>> stupid fucker!) If you have something so say... FUCKING SAY IT or better yet MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS sure I have ideas who said it.. because it just so happens that NOTHING was ever posted like that until I signed up for facebook. but... I've let it go. My chiropractor says I shouldn't hold grudges... little does she know that's one of the first things you're taught as a child in my family. In fact its the formaldehyde that's keeping my grandmother alive! Now, that I've vented... let me tell you what I was going to say... PUNK - well, his name here came from a name that I called him when he was my tiny little baby... "chunky punk" and well I was 20, it rhymed and he was anything but chunky. Anyway, Punk has decided to NOT turn in any school work. Apparently, he's also decided that every time he is with his Dad and StepMom that he should talk about wanting to move in with them. Then when he is here he gives me the "They won't stop talking about me moving up there, and I'm sick of hearing it, and I don't know what to do." And my personal favorite, "She talks to me about moving up there when Dad isn't around, She said all we had to do was go to court and it would be fine" I have literally dated people that didn't mess with my freakin' head as much as MY FIRST BORN messes with my head! WTF!!! I didn't drop him on his head, I promise!! Now, Ex and Step are talking about a counselor for Punk, citing that he was an A/B student last year and this year he's D/F. Not to mention the obvious crap he's pulling with trying to pit the two families against each other. He's even gone so far as to talk about how Ex and Step don't have any children and he thinks that because we have LuLu that I'm not able to pay as much attention to him.. or I won't help him with his homework - when in reality, he hides in his room, erases his assignments from his assignment book, or says he completed the assignment at school, or doesn't even bother to ask if I can look at or help him with something. By the way, this has been going on all school year. He would get to a point that he was caught up and then BAM!! I get an email from his assistant teacher.. "Punk has 5 zeros in history, When I asked him about it, He just laughed, I'm concerned." If I'd pulled half the shit he's pulled, I'd be dead. The stuff he's done isn't horrible I understand that, I mean he hasn't stolen a car or gotten in fights, etc. But, OMG... A woman that I confide in at work says that I should back off... if he wants to 'not do it' just let him. And I'm with her to an extent. But I'm telling you right now... I feel that Ex and Step would go crazy if I said... "you know what, he's dug the hole, let him get himself out of it." or take me to court for custody and say that I didn't care enough to put a stop to my own son being a dumbass... pity that I feel that I have to censor myself because I believe I know who the anonymous poster is... by the way, if you're reading this... really ANONYMOUS - WTF??? again, STUPID FUCKER! So, I'm trying to find a counselor for Punk. I'm trying to make sure on a daily basis that he does his homework.. I have to ask him to show me the assignment book everyday, and his work that matches it everyday... then I have to ask him if the teacher gave him anything else to bring home, because apparently when I ask him for his homework that is a sign to him that I didn't ask for anything else and he shouldn't automatically give me the other papers that aren't homework. (in my observation of the male of the species - they learn a "specific question" behavior. this keeps them from giving too much information to quickly. this is in turn gives the female of the species an unspoken permission to do several things... 1. scream 2. take up boxing, running and/or firearms (sniper style) 3. become a lesbian 4. wonder how/why the hell??? 5. pray for sanity) 6. drink heavily 7. participate in verbal bashing of the males of the species oh, wait I forgot... and 8. shop!) Sigh, Breathe...
Normal work, is another story... busy, busy, busy... pray, pray, pray (that after 11 years, and being bought out, that I don't find myself jobless)
well, that's the last few weeks in a nutshell (and a full nutshell at that)